Note From Naked Levi

My moomie was happy today because she got to leave Daady and his wheelchair at home while she took me to the groomer, then she got to wait for me at grocery store while they threw me in soapy water before stealing Levi’s hair. Me’s don’t know why that should make her happy but me’s don’t think she was telling a fib.

Before we left she made Daady a lunch and told him she was going on vacation from the men in the family. She also promised me some French fries from Wendys if me’s was good at the hair stealing place. Oh, they were good! At least she cared that we men in the family didn’t starve to death while she was gone.

Me is always good at the groomer but me’s not so sure that Daady was good at home alone because when Moomie came to pick me up he was sitting in the front seat of the car. Maybe Moomie missed him like she did Levi? Me’s don’t know what happened. It’s a mystery. All Levi knows for sure is that Daady was singing what Moomie calls non-sense songs on the way home and she told him, “Now I remember why I needed a vacation from you today.” Daady laughed and kept on singing.

We got to stop at the park on the way home where me’s scouted out some poop bigger than a house. Moomie said some horse-of-a-dog must have come by. Me’s don’t know what a horse-of-a-dog is but if Levi ever sees one me’s is running in the opposite direction. Could this be a picture of a horse-of-a-dog? ©

Dog Goes Up Against Momma Squirrel!

My human has been telling me since me was a little pup not to mess with squirrels. Today she got an email with proof of what she's been saying all along. But it seems to me if that darn baby squirrel had stayed in his nest where he belonged that poor black dog in the photos wouldn't have been abused by its mother like that! Darn squirrels!

Levi, The Rabbit Police Dog

Me was on bunny patrol again this morning because Levi knows how important it is to alert the neighborhood when one of those furry beasts hops through our yard. From the tracks in the snow, it looked like a giant rabbit came through last night. Most mornings me’s goes out and looks between the slats of the fence, trying to memorize where their tracks lead. Come summer time it will be valuable information for when Moomie takes me out of my fenced area and puts me on a 100 foot clothes line so me can run free---well, almost free. Those bunnies drop treats that me likes to eat and for some reason that upsets Moomie. What’s the problem? They lost them, me’s found them. Case closed. Is Levi supposed to leave them there to rot in the grass?

Moomie is no fun! She doesn't let me go in the woods on the other side of the yard anymore after me’s supposedly brought her something called poison ivy. Levi doesn’t think me’s did that. Me’s don’t remember picking up anything but sticks, but you know humans, sometimes there’s no arguing with them. They ALWAYS think they know EVERYTHING!

One thing she does know about is the rabbit that is determined to drive me nuts. Moomie thinks Miss. Prissy is cute and she even took pictures of the creature as she nestled down under the pine tree just eight feet on the other side of my fence. No matter how much me barked at her that rabbit was too stupid to move! “Move it! Move it!” Levi would bark at her and she’d just point that stupid nose at me, wiggles those big ears and start grooming herself right there in the pine needles. This went on for a week before Moomie got out her can of pennies in an effort to make me quit barking at Miss. Prissy. Me’s toned my bark down to a whine but the penny can didn’t stop Miss. Prissy from coming back time after time. But all she EVER did was bathe and sleep. Bathe and sleep.

Moomie says next summer Miss. Prissy might bring us a litter of babies. She seems happy about that. Don’t human mommies know how hard that would be for a rabbit police dog, like me, to keep track of baby bunnies going every which way? Let Levi tell you, that Miss. Prissy is a sadistic bitch to make her summer home so close to my domain. If she comes back with babies next spring, it will drive me nuts and Moomie will be an accessory to that crime for making that stupid rabbit feel so welcome. Moomie should have opened the gate and let me run that rabbit until it expired from exhaustion!©
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Happy Birthday to Me!

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happpy birrrrthday dear Levi
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Me is two years old today and nobody cares. My friend was suppose to come over for a party but his pawrents got sick so they wouldn't let him come alone. My moomie didn't even give me a present and me's been SUCH a good boy! Me is all alone here at the computer and Levi thinking about running away from home.

Me hasn't written in my blog for a very looooonnnnng time. Moomie got a new knee in August and the hospital gave her an infection for free. But it made her sick for a very loooonnnnng time and she wouldn't let me type without supervision---like me even knows how to spell the bad words! Where does she get such silly ideas? Anyway, she's better now and promises me can start blogging again when she gets home. Don't anyone tell her Levi started without her.

Levi the schnauzer

Living With Old People

Well, finally, my moomie let me on the computer! It's been ages---longer than ages in a dog's life. She says Levi---that's me in case everyone has forgotten cute little schnauzer me---is a deprived young dog because me has to live with old people. It isn't fair, she says, that no one younger adopted me before my price was reduced to an old person's budget. It isn't fair, she says, that two weeks ago Moomie had to have her leg sawed apart and a new knee joint glued into place and that me had to stay home with Daady and a paid caregiver, Gary. Me really, really wanted to go to the hospiddle with her. Me could have protected her from the bad nurse who was mean to Moomie. Gary was nice to me but he didn't walk me even one time while she was gone. He didn't even take me out to the back yard to run on my 100 foot clothes line, and he didn't speak the same language as Levi. It took me almost four days to figure out that when he said, "Let's go potty" that he was really saying, "Outside, Levi." Humans who baby sit wheelchair bound daady's and schnauzers should learn our language! Even daady couldn't understand half the things Gary wanted him to do.

The first day when Moomie came home from the hospiddle me tried to take that big bandage off her leg. Well, someone had to inspect the damage and see what smelled so strange underneath. After that Moomie kept that walker thing in front of her at all times and that really hurt me feelings. Me was only trying to help! Then at 8:30 me begged to go out to the back yard on my clothes line like we used to do every night, but she wouldn't take me. So, me pooped on the floor and that made Moomie feel so bad! But me was in no mood to use my fenced dog yard after all me went through with Gary. The next night at 8:30 me begged again, but again she wouldn't take me to the back yard. This time she cried and called my cousin Ted to come over for a play date. Ted's parents took me to the back yard. Oh, Levi was so happy. Moomie says to "hang in there" and that in a few weeks she'll take me to places me has never been before…far, far away from our yard. If she keeps her promise, maybe me will find some of my cyber buddies out there? In the meantime me have to be patient. Sigh. ©

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