Voices in Her Head

Look what me's found in Moomie's diary today. Me's shouldn't be read it, Levi knows that but me is sharing this for a reason. Here is what she wrote:

"Sometimes I swear Levi, our dog, can telepathically talk inside my brain. This morning I woke up to someone calling my name and when my eyes opened all I saw was my husband sound asleep. I listened for the voice to call my name again but the house was silent. A dream, I thought, but it was so real---and so annoying because it’s a common way for me to wake up. I rolled over and there he was, smack-dab in my face, his little eyes peering over the top of the mattress. 'Finally!' Levi seemed to be saying, 'I need to pee.' The creepy part is the dog also seems to be able to tell time. It was nine o’clock. It’s always nine o’clock---on the dot---when I wake up this way."

Okay, Levi needs to know are all humans this dumb about talking without words, or is my human....ah, well, you know, a little slow? Duh, of course me was using telepathy to talk to Moomie. Me's didn't want to wake Daady up by barking. He needs his sleep. Me is worried. Is there a book she should read on training humans how to talk inside their heads?

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Note From Naked Levi

My moomie was happy today because she got to leave Daady and his wheelchair at home while she took me to the groomer, then she got to wait for me at grocery store while they threw me in soapy water before stealing Levi’s hair. Me’s don’t know why that should make her happy but me’s don’t think she was telling a fib.

Before we left she made Daady a lunch and told him she was going on vacation from the men in the family. She also promised me some French fries from Wendys if me’s was good at the hair stealing place. Oh, they were good! At least she cared that we men in the family didn’t starve to death while she was gone.

Me is always good at the groomer but me’s not so sure that Daady was good at home alone because when Moomie came to pick me up he was sitting in the front seat of the car. Maybe Moomie missed him like she did Levi? Me’s don’t know what happened. It’s a mystery. All Levi knows for sure is that Daady was singing what Moomie calls non-sense songs on the way home and she told him, “Now I remember why I needed a vacation from you today.” Daady laughed and kept on singing.

We got to stop at the park on the way home where me’s scouted out some poop bigger than a house. Moomie said some horse-of-a-dog must have come by. Me’s don’t know what a horse-of-a-dog is but if Levi ever sees one me’s is running in the opposite direction. Could this be a picture of a horse-of-a-dog? ©

Dog Goes Up Against Momma Squirrel!

My human has been telling me since me was a little pup not to mess with squirrels. Today she got an email with proof of what she's been saying all along. But it seems to me if that darn baby squirrel had stayed in his nest where he belonged that poor black dog in the photos wouldn't have been abused by its mother like that! Darn squirrels!

Levi, The Rabbit Police Dog

Me was on bunny patrol again this morning because Levi knows how important it is to alert the neighborhood when one of those furry beasts hops through our yard. From the tracks in the snow, it looked like a giant rabbit came through last night. Most mornings me’s goes out and looks between the slats of the fence, trying to memorize where their tracks lead. Come summer time it will be valuable information for when Moomie takes me out of my fenced area and puts me on a 100 foot clothes line so me can run free---well, almost free. Those bunnies drop treats that me likes to eat and for some reason that upsets Moomie. What’s the problem? They lost them, me’s found them. Case closed. Is Levi supposed to leave them there to rot in the grass?

Moomie is no fun! She doesn't let me go in the woods on the other side of the yard anymore after me’s supposedly brought her something called poison ivy. Levi doesn’t think me’s did that. Me’s don’t remember picking up anything but sticks, but you know humans, sometimes there’s no arguing with them. They ALWAYS think they know EVERYTHING!

One thing she does know about is the rabbit that is determined to drive me nuts. Moomie thinks Miss. Prissy is cute and she even took pictures of the creature as she nestled down under the pine tree just eight feet on the other side of my fence. No matter how much me barked at her that rabbit was too stupid to move! “Move it! Move it!” Levi would bark at her and she’d just point that stupid nose at me, wiggles those big ears and start grooming herself right there in the pine needles. This went on for a week before Moomie got out her can of pennies in an effort to make me quit barking at Miss. Prissy. Me’s toned my bark down to a whine but the penny can didn’t stop Miss. Prissy from coming back time after time. But all she EVER did was bathe and sleep. Bathe and sleep.

Moomie says next summer Miss. Prissy might bring us a litter of babies. She seems happy about that. Don’t human mommies know how hard that would be for a rabbit police dog, like me, to keep track of baby bunnies going every which way? Let Levi tell you, that Miss. Prissy is a sadistic bitch to make her summer home so close to my domain. If she comes back with babies next spring, it will drive me nuts and Moomie will be an accessory to that crime for making that stupid rabbit feel so welcome. Moomie should have opened the gate and let me run that rabbit until it expired from exhaustion!©
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